


The Fight Before Christmas

by BirdOfHermes



Series: Under Pressure [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Bathroom Sex, Bubble Bath, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Smut, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Internal Conflict, Jealous Loki (Marvel), Possessive Loki (Marvel), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Snowball Fight, Sparring, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdOfHermes/pseuds/BirdOfHermes
Summary: It's been three months since you, a part time Avenger with ice powers, started dating the God of Mischief. And coincidentally, it's Christmas Eve. Is he going to be naughty or nice this year? ...yeah, that is a rhetorical question. Sequel to "Under Pressure."  (Rewritten, re-edited, and reposted as of 12-26-18)





	The Fight Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> So. I owe you guys an apology. I rushed the first version of this fic to get it posted by Christmas, and that's discourteous of me as a writer. I went back and rewrote sections of the first draft of this fic since it didn't have my full attention and I realized large parts of it didn't work due to its brevity and some unfortunate implications. Hopefully what you're about to read is a lot better and deals with the issues I left out the first time due to being in a time crunch. Honestly, you have my word that I won't do something like that again. I really should have taken my time and gotten the fic done before I left for the holidays, so that's on me.

_"Hope dangles on a string_  
_Like slow spinning redemption_  
_Winding in and winding out_  
_The shine of it has caught my eye_  
_And roped me in so mesmerizing and so hypnotizing_  
_I am captivated_  
_I am vindicated_  
_I am selfish_  
_I am wrong_  
_I am right_  
_I swear, I'm right_  
_Swear I knew it all along_  
_And I am flawed_  
_But I am cleaning up so well_  
_I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself..."_  
_-"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional_

 

"Of course you realize...this means war."

I didn't fire the first shot. Honest.

We were on track for a White Christmas in upstate New York at the Avengers compound. I woke up to five inches of snow blanketing the grounds, so naturally, I crawled out from underneath Loki's arm, got dressed, and decided to have a look around. I'd been in snowy places before, mind you, but this was the first time I wasn't under a tremendous amount of stress, for once, and could thus enjoy it. Turned out I hadn't been alone in my sentiment; a few minutes later, Steve, Nat, Tony, Sam, and Thor emerged to have a look around as well. I'd been snapping photos of the frosted trees and the grey skies, and then selfies with the Avengers just so I'd have some photos to frame later.

"You're not to thank for this, are you, Frosty?" Tony asked, one eyebrow arched.

I'd scowled at him. "Ha-ha. I control ice, not the weather, Tin Man."

"Tin Man," he scoffed under his breath. "You've been hanging out with Diaval too much."

A grin burst across my lips. "Diaval? You watched _Maleficent?_ "

Tony coughed and shrugged one shoulder. "It was on FX the other night. Sue me."

I chuckled. He flicked some snow at me and walked ahead, grumbling. I'd maybe scooped up a handful of snow and flung it at him. Unfortunately, my aim was too good--it smacked him in the back of the head and slid down his neck into his scarf. He did a hilarious little dance before whirling around and giving me a death glare as well as that infamous Looney Tunes quote.

I yelped and dove behind a tree as Tony lobbed a snowball at me. It splattered and I scurried in between the trees as he kept at it, playfully growling at me to hold still.

"Really, dude?" Sam said as I ducked behind him. "You're a grown man."

"Yes," Tony said, out of breath. "A grown man who is about to beat Frosty the Snow-woman at her own game. Now move it or lose it, Feathers."

"I'm neutral ground," he said, folding his arms. "Switzerland. Throw that at me and it's on."

I peeked around Sam's broad shoulder to see Tony contemplating it. "Fair enough."

 _Whap!_ He hit Sam dead in the forehead with a snowball.

"You're dead meat, Tin Man."

From there, the rest of us split into groups almost without thinking twice: me, Sam, and Thor on one team and Tony, Nat, and Steve on the other. There was no rhyme or reason to it; just a bunch of ridiculous adults laughing and flinging snow at each other whenever an opponent made themselves open to attack. Thor and I paired off to go after Tony the Instigator, as Thor was excellent cover thanks to those huge shoulders and barrel chest.

"Is this yet another Midgardian Christmas tradition?" he teased as he helped me pack together some ammo while we had a few seconds.

"Oh, yeah," I told the big guy. "One of the best, in fact. It's a fair playing ground. No powers, no suits, no weapons. Just good old fashioned snow and agility."

His eye twinkled merrily. "Aye. I can see the appeal. I'd truly like to enjoy the look on Stark's face once we nail him with this monstrosity. To that end, would you care to be the distraction, milady?"

I gave him a mock-curtsy, which made him laugh. "I'd be honored, milord."

Thor nodded towards the east. "Draw him that way and I'll do the rest."

I scooped up a couple handfuls and darted through the brush towards Tony, who had been trying to drive Sam towards where Nat and Steve were waiting. I nailed him between the shoulder blades and he whirled, eyes narrowing.

"Oh, there you are, little troublemaker," he grinned, tearing after me. "Don't look so jolly now, do you?"

I hurried a few yards away, ducking fire, until I reached the right spot. "I don't know, Tony. Who's Frosty without Santa?"

"Ho, ho, ho!" Thor said cheerfully as he dropped down from a tree limb, and then he launched a snowball the size of a soccer ball right at Tony's chest. Naturally, he hadn't actually thrown the thing--it would have probably broken Tony's ribs--but just a quick underhand toss. Tony couldn't dodge it in time and it flattened him on his back in the snow. I bowled over laughing as he lay there, arms spread, spitting snowflakes out of his beard.

Thor chuckled and marched on over, offering his hand to his fallen comrade. Tony glared up at us. "I'm docking your pay for that."

"Sore loser," I said, sticking out my tongue.

"Yeah, yeah," Tony said after Thor pulled him to his feet. He dusted himself off and shivered a bit. "Alright, I'm calling a timeout on the field. Frozen toes. I'm gonna go make some coffee."

"Sounds good to me." I high-fived Thor. "Thanks for the assist, big guy."

"Only the mightiest of teammates could have pulled off such a victory," he proclaimed, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and giving me an affectionate little squeeze. "Twas my honor, fair maiden."

I laughed and shook my head. "I know you play that Shakespearean shit up for me. Who are you trying to impress?"

He pretended to look offended. "Why, I have no idea what you're talking about, milady. I'm always like this."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Here, make yourself useful." I hefted myself onto his shoulders and he carried me piggyback style across the long, flat field towards the entrance to the compound. Once we were close enough, I could see Loki standing at the window watching us approach, sipping tea.

Over the last three months, Loki had certainly gotten a little better working with the people who had summarily kicked his ass in the past. He hadn't exactly warmed up to them, but at the very least, no one went to bed fearing he'd be standing over them with a knife. He'd at least been able to manage to keep from insulting people left and right, and the screaming matches and death threats went down to a minimum. We'd run more than a few missions as a mostly complete team, and there was almost a familial mood now.

That being said, I noticed Loki's blue-green eyes narrowing slightly as Thor lowered me to the ground just before we reached the doorway. "That reminds me: feel like sparring this afternoon before lunch? Valkyrie wants one of her new swords tested out."

I sighed. "I don't know why you get such a jolt out of whipping my ass at swordplay."

"Nonsense," he insisted. "You're getting quite good for a beginner."

"I can barely make it ten minutes, Thor."

He actually pushed his lower lip out at me in a pout. "Please?"

"Aww, no, not with the face," I groaned, stamping my foot. "Damn you, you stupid adorable Asgardian. Fine. One o'clock. But you're buying my meal afterward."

Thor grinned. "Aye, deal, milady." We rode the elevator up to the barracks and I headed to my room to shower.

I hummed to myself as I stripped off the outer coat, gloves, scarf, and started unzipping my boots. I heard the door to my apartment swoosh open and closed, and then the God of Mischief drifted into my bedroom like a wraith.

"What was that?" he asked in a deceptively calm voice.

"Loki, you've watched enough movies to know what a snowball fight looks like," I told him as I tossed my ice-caked boots and damp socks to one side of my bed. "And yes, I'm aware how immature it looks and don't care."

"Not that. What were you doing with my brother?"

I paused and frowned at him. "He gave me a piggyback ride. So what?"

Loki just kept staring at me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Oh my God, Loki, I am one second away from caving in your skull with the nightstand."

He gave me a thin, dangerous little smile. "Try it, mortal."

I dropped my hand and glared at him. "In case you haven't noticed, we're friends. That doesn't mean I want to have sex with him. It just means we get along."

Loki scowled. "So you do not want to have sex with him?"

I paused. "...well, shit, I mean, if he asks--"

Loki snarled and I held out my hands. "I'm kidding, you humorless serpent. Get a grip. I can't believe after you've been schtupping me for like three months that you still are this insecure about your brother."

I stripped out of my sweater and headed towards the bathroom. Loki trailed me. "It is not insecurity. There are shades of attraction from both parties involved. I've seen it myself."

I turned the bath faucet on and stuck my hand underneath the gushing water. "Loki, you turn your head every single time Natasha bends over."

He cleared his throat and didn't quite meet my gaze. "That's preposterous."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure it is. My point is that attraction and acting on it are two entirely different things. In case you haven't noticed, the entire team of Avengers is full of obscenely good-looking people. You're going to have to make peace with it sooner or later."

"And if I were to strike up a friendship with the Widow that is as close as you and my brother are?" he challenged me. "You would not be jealous?"

"No," I told him. "Because unlike some people, I'm not possessive and controlling."

Loki stepped close to me. Something in my gut jerked. It was an old fear. I hadn't been a relationship in years before he and I started up, and some part of me would always flinch just a bit when someone entered my personal space. I'd spent a lot of time alone after the Battle of New York changed my life. After _he_ changed my life.

"I thought you liked that about me," Loki murmured, fingering a lock of my damp hair.

"I like the jealousy-induced angry sex," I said, lowering my lashes over my eyes. "The rest of it, not so much. Now beat it. I need to take a shower."

Loki clucked his tongue. "You can't possibly take a shower."

"Why not?"

He leaned in and his voice took on that silken quality that made my knees knock together. "You're not nearly dirty enough yet."

By then, it was too late. I'd fallen right into his trap.

Loki swept me off my feet and plopped me onto the sink counter. I could protest. I could whine that we'd just had sex last night before bed. But I'd be doing it out of simple obligation, to keep the arrogant God of Mischief in line, which was an important aspect of our, ahem, relationship. Truth be told, Loki's warm hands on my hips felt amazing. He immediately sought after my neck, my weak spot, the bastard, licking over my pulse before biting down just enough to make me hiss. I buried one hand in his dark, unruly hair and pushed his robe off his shoulders with the other, gasping as he left a hickey before unhooking my bra. I tried not to whimper as his hot, wet mouth enveloped my right breast and his tongue began circling my nipple.

I clawed at his shirt until I got it off him and yanked him back up to my mouth. Mm, he tasted like black tea and blueberry jam. He'd had breakfast not too long ago. He shoved my knees apart until he stood between them before making short work of my jeans. I hissed against his mouth as he palmed me, rubbing the heel of his hand against my spot beneath the thin layer of cotton hiding me from him. He let out a slow, pleased rumble as he felt how wet I'd gotten already. He slipped his hand into my panties and hooked two long fingers inside me all at once. I scrambled to grab the edge of the sink and couldn't help the moan that escaped as the pleasure I'd already been toying with swept me under immediately.

"Mm, you can't do this every time you piss me off, you know," I muttered half-heartedly.

"Why not?" he said with a slick little grin. "It's worked out so far."

"Hate you."

"That's precisely why the sex is so good, my dear."

He wasn't wrong. Jerk. We'd have to have words about this. More often than not when he wasn't giving me toe-curling, back-scratchingly good orgasms, he was driving me crazy. Maybe I'd bitten off more than I could chew deciding to be in a relationship with him instead of just being friends with benefits. A girl tends to notice after a time that he tries to distract from a problem with mindblowing sex.

Somehow, those words didn't quite make it out of my mouth. Loki knew that like him, I'd been isolated and untouched for years. Any hint of physical contact might as well have been heroin to me. To be honest, this wasn't just about him. I was partially to blame too for letting him get away with it. After all, there could be a very real chance that confronting him about it meant we'd end it all. Somewhere, that awful thought hovered in the back of my mind and made me silent when my heart knew better.

"You're tensing up," Loki murmured against my lips, his thick lashes low over his eyes as he stared at me. "Let go. Stay with me."

His thumb found my clit. He stroked over it just the way I liked, not too fast, not too slow, not too hard, not too soft. My legs trembled with the effort to stay perched on the counter as my climax welled up inside me under the steady thrust of his fingers. My thoughts tangled and jumbled up into nonsense. Loki's slender fingers crawled up my body and he tilted my head back, devouring my lips just as he found the right spot. I came around his fingers in a shuddering spell and floated off into the ether for several heavenly minutes.

I felt his hands anchoring me by my waist when I returned to semi-coherence, softly stroking my bare skin, his lips perusing my neck. I licked my lips and tried desperately to grasp at something before he distracted me again. "L-Loki...we need to...talk..."

He scooted me off the counter and flipped me around, burying his face in my hair as he undid his pajama pants. "We do, do we?"

I shivered as he ran his hands over my hips and tugged me back against the wall of heat and muscle that made up his chest. Damn him. It felt so good.

His hand crept up and palmed my right breast, gently, his thumb just barely brushing the nipple, sending tiny whirlpools of pleasure racing through my upper torso. _Focus. You had actual words to say, remember?_

"You can't just-- _hnnngh_ \--" I lost my train of thought as he ground his hard cock against the swell of my ass and nipped my ear lobe.

"I can't just...what?" he taunted in my ear.

"Goddammit, Loki," I groaned. "I'm not any better at relationships than you are, but even I know you're being an ass right now."

"Am I? I am so terribly sorry, darling. Allow me to make a proper apology." He slipped inside me at long last. My upper body simply gave out and I collapsed forward against the counter, moaning helplessly as pleasure rolled through me as thick and inescapable as morning fog. Loki purred as that long, hard cock bottomed out deep within my aching core and then withdrew, garnishing the movement with a light slap across my lower left cheek that made me whimper. Stupid, stupid, stupid woman.

He sunk into rhythm behind me immediately and rode me hard, circling his hips each time our bodies met, driving gasps from me over and over again. I never lasted long in this position, especially not if he felt particularly rigorous. He slipped those long arms around me and surrounded me in warmth and darkness and strength, his lips hot and messy against my throat. I had only a fleeting thought of clarity just before he sent me spinning off into oblivion.

I was trapped.

But I was a willing captive.

Damn it all.

I didn't remember him running a bath. I just remembered feeling extremely warm, nearly overheated, but pleasantly so, like being in a sauna. One of the perks of living on the Avengers compound as a part-timer was that we had exquisitely large garden tubs instead of the standard kind. I sat in Loki's lap under the hot water, the back of my head resting against the hollow of his throat, our skin touching nearly everywhere. He'd poured one of my little Bath and Body Works shower gels into it, so the whole bathroom smelled of sweet pea. His lean chest sent little vibrations through me and through the water as he hummed a song I'd never heard before. My thoughts still wouldn't condense into words. This felt...nice. Hell, it might've been one of the nicer moments we'd ever had as a couple. Almost domestic. Maybe things were taking a turn for the better. Maybe I shouldn't upset the apple cart. Not now, at least.

So I just shut my eyes and listened to the God of Mischief's quiet little song.

* * *

Then I woke up tied to the headboard of my own damned bed.

_And it wasn't the first time._

I should have bloody known better.

Loki could move like a ninja when he wanted to, and there wasn't much my poor dull human senses could do about it. After all, he was a god. I hadn't felt him scoop me out of our shared bath and put me in the bed, nor did I feel it when he'd tied me up. I'd heard the rustle of him leaving the bed to get dressed, and when I rolled over, my arms didn't follow me. Frowning, I'd opened my eyes to see that he'd bound me to the bed with one of my scarves.

I bestowed the mother of all death glares on him. "You fucking _asshole_."

Loki clucked his tongue as he buttoned his dress shirt. "Such a temper, darling."

"Untie me."

"I'm afraid I can't," he wheedled as he tucked his shirt into his slacks. "I have a previous engagement."

"Loki, this stopped being funny the third time you did it."

His seawater eyes twinkled. "And yet somehow I still get a chuckle out of it."

My cheeks reddened. "Un. Tie. Me. _Now._ "

"I won't be gone long," he promised as he buckled his belt. "Go back to sleep. You're tired."

"Loki, if you walk out that fucking door, there is going to be hell to pay."

"I would expect nothing less from you, darling." The bastard actually swooped down and kissed my forehead, then walked out of the bedroom as if it were a perfectly normal thing to do to his own girlfriend. I seethed as I heard the door to my apartment whoosh open and closed, then buried my face in my pillow and screamed in pure frustration. I cursed him to God, Odin, and a few more deities just for the hell of it.

Then I sighed, went limp, and rolled over. When I spoke next, my voice came out very resigned.

"FRIDAY, get me everything you have on escape artistry."

Thirty minutes later, I strode into the gym where I found Thor waiting. He didn't seem at all upset at my tardiness, which was like him. He gave me a big grin when he saw me walk in, but it quickly vanished as he noticed my livid expression.

"What's wrong, milady? Should we reschedule?"

"No," I growled. "Now I actually _need_ to stab something."

Thor lifted an eyebrow and then frowned in understanding. "Loki?"

"Loki," I confirmed sourly.

He sighed. "What did my brother do this time?"

I couldn't stop the blush from flooding my cheeks. "Long story. Let's see it."

Thor flipped the handle of the sword towards me and I gently lifted it from his hands. Valkyrie's sword was nothing short of a work of art. It was curved rather than shaped like a broadsword, with a blade about as long as her Dragonfang. The pommel was crimson with gold detailing. The handle was balanced extremely well, which I only knew because Thor had been slowly tutoring me on weapons just in case I found myself in a situation where my powers had no effect. The blade was also a bit thinner than the Dragonfang, more like a katana.

"Wow," I murmured as I turned it over in my hands. "It's beautiful."

"It is," he said proudly. "She made it herself. She has quite the talent for blacksmithing."

"Unbelievable talent. We should talk her into making that her profession. She'd make a killing. No pun intended."

Thor rumbled with a laugh. "Aye. She's ideally suited for it."

He paused, and I thought he was looking at the sword, but then he reached out and lifted my arm. I'd been wearing a tank top and forgot that my escape attempt had left marks on my wrists.

"Milady, are you hurt?"

I yanked my arm back. "Uh. Well. It's...part of why I'm late is thanks to your idiot brother."

Thor gave me a baffled look. I hung my head and just gave in. Well, I needed to tell someone before I spontaneously combusted from sheer anger. "He thought it amusing to tie me to the bed and leave me there."

Thor growled. It was very scary and impressive, and I was very happy it wasn't directed at me. "Shall I tear his arms off when he returns?"

"No, I'd like to do that myself, but thanks for offering. The worst part is that this isn't the first time."

He gritted his teeth. "Oh, he has most certainly earned your wrath and mine as well. Even for him, that is low and distasteful. I know you are fully capable on your own, but should you need me, just ask."

"You don't know how much it would cheer me up to see you punch his lights out," I admitted. "I thought about breaking up with him on the way here, but..."

"But?"

I chewed on my lower lip. "Mind if we talk? You know, while we're testing out the sword?"

"Not at all," he said as he walked over to the little armory of practice weapons against the far wall. He chose a smaller version of a broad sword, one of the ones that had survived from Asgard, and took a stance across from me. We bowed to each other and I took the defensive stance he'd taught me. "What's on your mind, milady?"

He dashed at me. The blow came from above--a diagonal cut I'd seen him do before, but a much, much slower version of it for my benefit as a beginner. I parried it easily, but the breeze that flew by reminded me of just how courteous he was being. Valkyrie's new sword held and the vibrations tickled through my forearm and up to my shoulder. It had taken the blow quite well. Good sign.

"I think it has something to do with this," I told him, preparing as he swept into another motion. I blocked it, and again, the metal hummed but held steady. "I think he's..."

I cleared my throat, and the blush returned. "Jealous."

"Jealous?" Thor echoed. He seemed to think it over and then nodded a bit. "Aye, that sounds like him."

"But why?" I asked, spinning as he attacked again. "I hang out with the other Avengers just as much and he hasn't overreacted this badly before."

"Loki's been like that our whole lives. Especially if he and I are friends with the same girl. We may be gods, but we're prone to the same insecurities that you are here on Midgard."

"I mean, I get it to some degree," I said as we fell into a rhythm. One, two, three. One, two, three. Block, block, parry. Light on the footwork. Concentrate on his movements. "He still feels second best to you and he can't really help it, but it's so ridiculous that he'd go to this length on freaking Christmas Eve."

"It's partly because I am not courting anyone at the moment. He worries my attentions will turn romantic."

I snorted. "I should be so lucky."

Thor chuckled. "You are too modest, milady. I'd be the lucky one."

"Oh, shush, you," I scolded. "Stop trying to mess up my concentration."

He laughed that time. "I mean it. Loki's worries are unfounded, yes, but I enjoy your company quite a bit, and he frets that it means I am interested in you."

"But shouldn't he know me better than that?"

"Aye, he should. And he should know I would never hurt him that way either, but Loki has spent a great deal of time isolating himself and believing that he was unloved, and that the people in his life only tolerated him. He still does not understand that he is cared for, and so he expects betrayal and trickery at every turn. Therefore, I assume he thought preventing you from spending time with me would delay the inevitable."

"Dumbass," I muttered.

"To be fair, I do not believe I have seen him last this long with a lady."

I blinked at him, pausing in my sword stroke. "Wait, really?"

Thor cocked his head to one side slightly. "He hasn't told you that?"

"No."

"It's true. Even back on Asgard, Loki did not take to courting. He would see ladies for very short intervals, many of them, but it never lasted more than perhaps a few weeks at a time. You are the first with which he has gone..." He paused, as if searching for the term. "...steady? Is that still the vernacular?"

I chuckled in spite of myself. "Close enough. No, I didn't know that. _That's_ why he's acting so damned bonkers. He's trying to feel in control of the situation."

I shook my head. "I probably shouldn't have signed up for this, huh?"

"Probably not, but..." He relaxed and rolled his shoulders. "If you don't mind me saying so, prior to his actions today, I think you are an excellent influence on him, whether he realizes it or not. He will never truly change, but you have softened him, I think. I don't think it is in his nature to ever be happy, but the closest I have seen to it is when he has been with you."

I swallowed hard. Hearing it out loud was...something else. "So this isn't just about you and me? It's about him being afraid that he'll lose something he's never had before?"

"Aye," Thor said softly.

"Dammit." I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "What do you think I should do?"

"Beat him. Soundly."

I giggled. Couldn't help it. Thor had excellent deadpan delivery. He also probably meant it. "Right. And after that?"

He gave me a little reassuring smile. "What does your heart tell you to do?"

"My heart is stupid."

"Your heart is not stupid," he said, scolding me gently. "It is merely confused, and for good reason. But you are a smart, compassionate woman, and I believe you already know what you should do. You need not ask me. You will do exactly what you need to do in this situation. I have every faith in you."

I spun the sword between my fingers just so he wouldn't see that I'd teared up a little. "Okay. Thanks, big guy. I think I know what to do."

He bowed to me again. "Glad to be of service, milady."

"Ugh, stop being cute already and fight me."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home," Loki's sarcastic, silken baritone called shortly after I heard my apartment door open and close automatically. He'd taken to watching a few sitcoms here and there, and divined that it made me roll my eyes whenever he quoted it facetiously. He was such a shitlord.

He strode into my bedroom and stopped dead.

I sat on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, completely dressed and _not_ tied to the bed.

Loki narrowed his eyes at me. "Who untied you?"

"I untied myself, you asshole," I told him. "Like I'd ever live it down if the others found out you've tied me up under the same roof as them. After Tony was done murdering you, he'd make fun of me until the end of time."

Loki snorted. "Such a vivid imagination you have, to think Stark could ever kill me."

"He is best friends with Dr. Banner."

He scowled. "That still would not be death by Stark's hand."

I shrugged. "Point taken."

He folded his arms behind his back and eyed me. "You haven't tried to strike me yet. That seems...unusual."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Do you want me to hit you?"

He shrugged. "It seems to make you feel better sometimes."

"It does, but not right now. We need to talk."

He stiffened. Loki's posture was always straight as pin, and yet somehow, he stood even straighter. He swallowed and his voice deepened an octave or two, becoming dangerously husky. "About what?"

"A few things," I said. "Mainly this morning. You were eavesdropping on me and Thor."

"I was not eavesdropping," he said. I just stared at him. He scowled. "I can read lips. There is a difference."

I rolled my eyes and continued. "And you tied me to the bed because we had planned on sparring today. You interrupted an aspect of my life against my will. That's kind of a big deal, Loki."

"Am I not the God of Mischief?"

"Mischief is one thing. This is something else. If I had done the same thing, you'd have bitten my head off."

He opened his mouth, but I held up my hand. "Don't even try it. You know you'd have tore me a new one if I did the same thing to you. We've never been equals. Not once in this relationship. And I've been okay with it, because of how I feel about you."

Loki's jaw twitched. "But?"

"But," I continued. "It's been three months. There has to be respect. Mutual respect. I've respected you. I've given you space when you needed it. I've accommodated you in certain areas so that you'd feel comfortable with me. It has to be a two-way street, Loki. And we have to talk about if you're willing to do that with me."

"You have disliked how I have treated you?"

"Only in matters regarding your brother. The jealousy thing was cute at first, but we need to put it to bed. I'm not asking you to just get over centuries of resentment. I'm asking you if you're willing to trust that I won't have an affair with Thor."

Before I could blink, Loki had flattened me on the bed and pinned me to the mattress. He was breathing too hard, too fast, his curls hanging on either side of my face as his gaze tunneled into mine.

"Careful," he whispered. "You presume too much, my little mortal."

"You're allowed to be jealous, Loki," I said calmly. "But you can't make me do anything that I don't want to do. That's not a relationship. I'm not your pet."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum, darling?" he murmured. "Because I can assure you, I do not do well with them."

"I told you. This is a conversation. Not a rant, not a tirade, not an ultimatum. So tell me how you feel about what I've just said."

Loki licked his lips. His breathing slowed somewhat. He'd reacted on impulse. I'd gotten used to it. I'd joked before that Loki was a lot like a feral cat that had been recently taken in--he moved quickly, erratically, afraid that something might jump out of the dark to kill him when in reality he was perfectly safe. He hadn't been in a loving environment in a long time, and it showed.

"I do not..." He shut his eyes for a second. "I do not have an excuse for what I did. Yes, I mistreated you. Yes, I was jealous. But I fear nothing."

I sighed and rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. "Loki, fear is completely natural. You don't have to act like some implacable guardian or something."

He glared at me. "I am _not_ afraid."

"You are," I insisted. "You're afraid of losing me."

"Damn you, woman," he hissed, squeezing my wrists. "I am not--"

"And I'm afraid of losing you too."

His jaw snapped shut then. He blinked at me and then frowned. "What?"

"Not to another woman," I clarified. "Three months ago, an alien a thousand times more powerful than me broke in to this compound and took you from me. And I couldn't do a goddamn thing to stop it. Yes, I'm afraid too. Thanos hasn't returned, but he will someday, and I..."

My throat tightened. " _Fuck_ , I'm so scared he's going to take you from me again."

Loki swallowed again. "That...is an appropriate thing to fear. It is not impossible that it will happen."

"Exactly," I whispered hoarsely. "And you're strong enough that you have a contingency plan and that you will fight to the death whenever he comes for the Stones, but I'm not. You frustrate the hell out of me, but I care about you. Thor and I haven't just been goofing off, Loki. I asked him to teach me swordplay, and combat, so that I am strong enough to protect you when you need me to."

He inhaled sharply and shut his eyes again. "Darling, there is no need for you to do such things for me. I am not worth you sullying these beautiful hands with callouses. My actions have consequences. It is not your responsibility to protect me."

"You protect me. Whether I need it or not. Why isn't my responsibility the same as yours? Because I'm a mortal? Because I'm a woman?"

"Because you are a good person," he said. "And I am not."

I tugged my right hand free and touched the side of his face. "I don't care if you're a good person, Loki. You're mine. I protect what's mine."

He searched my gaze for a long moment, and I caught a glimpse of something vulnerable in his for just a split second before he rested his forehead against mine. We stayed there, silently, for a time.

"I will not act without your consent again," he said finally. "I give you my word."

"Thank you. Now get off me. I got you a Christmas present."

He lifted up enough to give me a puzzled look. "I do not celebrate your Midgardian version of religion, pagan or otherwise."

I rolled my eyes again. "Oh, will you shut up and come with me, you idiot?"

I stood and took his hand, tugging him along behind me towards the den. I reached into the coat closet and removed a large item with a cloth hanging over it, setting it in front of the breakfast counter. "Go on."

Loki eyed me, but knelt anyway and pulled off the dark grey sheet. He stilled. "This is..."

"Yeah," I said softly, a little shyly, hiding my hands behind my back so he couldn't see that they were shaking a little. "Thor found it among the items the Asgardians recovered after you escaped Hela. I thought you might want to put it on the mantle in your room."

It was a painting of Frigga and Loki when he was probably the Asgardian equivalent of perhaps eight or nine years old. She had both arms around his little neck, smiling serenely down at him, and he up at her in a rare moment of true happiness. They wore matching colors of gold and green, and even though it was likely a formal portrait, neither of them wore crowns. It simply looked like a happy moment between mother and son, captured in an oil painting on canvas.

"I...remember this..." he said softly, running his fingertips down one side of the thick wooden frame. "On Asgard, we celebrate our day of birth much like on Midgard. My mother had likely noted the day that Odin brought me home as my birthday, since there was no telling when it would have been on Jotunheim."

"So you like it?"

He stood up, faster than I could see, and wrapped me in the warmest hug I'd ever felt.

"I..." He breathed into my neck, my hair, his arms squeezing me tight to his chest. "I am at a loss for words."

I snorted and settled into the embrace. "That's a first."

He let out a weak little chuckle. "Must you use sarcasm at a time such as this?"

I smiled and drew back to look up at him. "Always."

He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He sighed. "I suppose I am a hypocrite, among other things."

I tilted my head. "How so?"

Loki reached into his pocket and withdrew a velvet box. It wasn't the same size a ring box, thank God, or I'd have run screaming from the Avengers compound never to return. It was thin and flat and rectangular.

He handed it to me. "Open it."

I eyed him, but obeyed. Inside, I found a white-gold necklace with a gemstone hanging from it. The gemstone was a rich, dark purple and shaped like a snowflake, much like the insignia on my combat suit that Tony had made for me, on account of my alias being Hailstone.

"Loki," I whispered. "It's...wow. Is that amethyst?"

"Yes, it is. And it's your birthstone."

My jaw dropped. "Wait, what?"

He smiled at me softly. "When I left today, I went to the orphanage where you were raised and asked for what information they had available for you. I remembered you had told me there was almost nothing in regards to your official records. They had no birthdate for you and no background or history, so I spoke with the nurse who did your first physical. She and I were able to estimate that you were born in February. After all, it's hard to know who you are if you don't know at least a little of your history."

Loki plucked the necklace from the box and clipped it around my neck. It fell perfectly within the dip between my collarbones. The metal felt light and cool against my skin. I couldn't see Loki's reaction because my stupid eyes were filled with stupid tears.

"This so doesn't make up for you tying me to the bed," I told him. Then I smiled. "But it's a damn good start."

He chuckled as he wiped my tears away. "Understood."

"Merry Christmas, Loki."

"Merry Christmas, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> Honest feedback would be much appreciated. I certainly hope this version is much more enjoyable. I will likely write a full sequel someday, so keep your eyes peeled. Happy holidays! 
> 
> If you'd like to contribute to my Kofi, that would also be much appreciated: https://ko-fi.com/birdofhermes


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